"do what feels good to you"
"don't fight it"
"give in to it"
"no expectations, no requirements, no high art ideals"
"just be yourself"
as if...
I laughed out loud at this prompt... I have been fighting myself art-wise for years now
trying to overcome how I naturally do some things that I now want to do differently
its been a continuous battle that usually results in the first few iterations of most anything I try being tossed out in short order whilst I stubbornly persist in working toward an ideal
the thought of tossing that into the bin made me laugh
but... in the interest of getting out of my own way I gave in to myself and worked on a subject that has long held my interest using materials and marks that I am always drawn to and my same old same old colour palette
and interestingly, found pleasure in all of it, especially in knowing I was meant to give in to it and that what I created would not have to be tossed in disappointment
it came easily and felt good
(the sketchbook is in the press so no photo today)
this prompt came on the heels of the day before's direction to work in a series for the next few days, an aid to seeing how work can develop over several different but successive iterations
so, repeating myself for several days... yikes
after Day One of this was done,
out of curiosity for where I was before 2020, I turned to my first ever sketchbook
and found this
hmm... rocks, ice, current
done long before my renewal of Yukon winters and the river, it speaks to all of it even though it was not the intention at the time it was done
and this, tissue paper crumpled and glued on sturdy paper looks a possibility for cracked ice
strips of white and off-white paper, handmade, Japanese and commercially-printed tissue paper with a heavy textured handmade paper glued on but pulled off in disgust at how wrong it was only to have a most amazing result
with this is I see a way to interpret the windrows on the ice and a rocky shoreline
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and there I sat, looking at the past and seeing nothing but relevance to the present
lesson learned
take care,
Jillayne
1 comment:
Oh the joy of the artistic journey towards understanding! Do you find this ongoing push and pull of being me, and yet trying to express things differently? I know in my heart I am always happy when I do work that is 'me' and yet I yearn to do things differently and try to trick myself, force myself to, challenge myself to push boundaries. Such a conundrum. I love how your earlier work is so truly in conversation with your current work - the throughlines are there - and it feels like both confirmation and re-discovery. As Michelangelo said Ancora Imparo - I am still learning... go well.
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