letting me be me

"do what feels good to you"

 "don't fight it"

"give in to it"

"no expectations, no requirements, no high art ideals"

"just be yourself"

as if...

I laughed out loud at this prompt... I have been fighting myself art-wise for years now

trying to overcome how I naturally do some things that I now want to do differently

its been a continuous battle that usually results in the first few iterations of most anything I try being tossed out in short order whilst I stubbornly persist in working toward an ideal

the thought of tossing that into the bin made me laugh

but... in the interest of getting out of my own way I gave in to myself and worked on a subject that has long held my interest using materials and marks that I am always drawn to and my same old same old colour palette

and interestingly, found pleasure in all of it, especially in knowing I was meant to give in to it and that what I  created would not have to be tossed in disappointment

it came easily and felt good

(the sketchbook is in the press so no photo today)

this prompt came on the heels of the day before's direction to work in a series for the next few days, an aid to seeing how work can develop over several different but successive iterations

so, repeating myself for several days... yikes

after Day One of this was done, 

out of curiosity for where I was before 2020, I turned to my first ever sketchbook

and found this

hmm... rocks, ice, current

done long before my renewal of Yukon winters and the river, it speaks to all of it even though it was not the intention at the time it was done

and this, tissue paper crumpled and glued on sturdy paper looks a possibility for cracked ice

strips of white and off-white paper, handmade, Japanese and commercially-printed  tissue paper with a heavy textured handmade paper glued on but pulled off in disgust at how wrong it was only to have a most amazing result

with this is I see a way to interpret the windrows on the ice and a rocky shoreline

and there I sat, looking at the past and seeing nothing but relevance to the present

lesson learned

take care,

Jillayne