letting me be me

"do what feels good to you"

 "don't fight it"

"give in to it"

"no expectations, no requirements, no high art ideals"

"just be yourself"

as if...

I laughed out loud at this prompt... I have been fighting myself art-wise for years now

trying to overcome how I naturally do some things that I now want to do differently

its been a continuous battle that usually results in the first few iterations of most anything I try being tossed out in short order whilst I stubbornly persist in working toward an ideal

the thought of tossing that into the bin made me laugh

but... in the interest of getting out of my own way I gave in to myself and worked on a subject that has long held my interest using materials and marks that I am always drawn to and my same old same old colour palette

and interestingly, found pleasure in all of it, especially in knowing I was meant to give in to it and that what I  created would not have to be tossed in disappointment

it came easily and felt good

(the sketchbook is in the press so no photo today)

this prompt came on the heels of the day before's direction to work in a series for the next few days, an aid to seeing how work can develop over several different but successive iterations

so, repeating myself for several days... yikes

after Day One of this was done, 

out of curiosity for where I was before 2020, I turned to my first ever sketchbook

and found this

hmm... rocks, ice, current

done long before my renewal of Yukon winters and the river, it speaks to all of it even though it was not the intention at the time it was done

and this, tissue paper crumpled and glued on sturdy paper looks a possibility for cracked ice

strips of white and off-white paper, handmade, Japanese and commercially-printed  tissue paper with a heavy textured handmade paper glued on but pulled off in disgust at how wrong it was only to have a most amazing result

with this is I see a way to interpret the windrows on the ice and a rocky shoreline

and there I sat, looking at the past and seeing nothing but relevance to the present

lesson learned

take care,

Jillayne

riding a wave...

there's been a shift in my thinking of late

not sure exactly what's brought it about... perhaps I finally just got tired of wanting to work in certain ways and decided to actually do something about it

perhaps it's the sense of time and the years slipping away from me

or it might be the influence of some of the Stoicism reading I've been doing

maybe its all of that and more

regardless, I am in the midst of the biggest spurt of creative energy I have felt in more than five years

and oh my does it feel good

several years ago I purchased a sketchbook challenge with thirty days of prompts

I started with gusto but fizzled before the halfway mark... recently I began again and have just completed Day 17

below are the outcomes of two prompts

for the one on the left, the prompt was to do something you would do if you never had to show it to anyone, most especially online

I chose to copy a sketch of JMW Turner, a favourite from a book that is a facsimile of one of his sketchbooks

(and here I am, posting it anyway!)

gesso on the page first as this sketchbook is made of drawing paper

then watercolour

the dark blotch at the top of the page is ink that came through from working on the other side but it seemed to fit in well enough here so I let it be

my favourite part was working on the sky

it's also the part that scared me the most!

the page on the right is the result of a prompt to revisit old work 

I had done some dark squiggly trees a while back and wanted to revisit them, this time with added snow, and silver foil - but in an abstract way, not a representational one

I began by laying down a dark blackish green but it got too thick and heavy, looking like a large, 

rough-edged triangle taking up 1/3 of the page or more

I scratched into with the flat end of skewer, pulling back a good bit of the paint, added a lot of swirly scratch marks and then let it dry for a while

next was titanium white paint (all acrylic paints in this one) but it started to turn grey so I brushed in more of the black-green and then it got really messy

frustrated, I grabbed a 1/2" flat brush and started trying to brush in tree branches but within ten seconds I realized everything had splodged together to make a deep blue-green that looked remarkably like the water of Marsh Lake

holding my breath, I kept going with the motion, bringing in more and white as I moved from the right of the page to the left

and then I stopped and walked away, before I could mess it up

when I cam back an hour later I saw a rising wave

I could never have planned this

if I had said 

"today I'm going to try painting a wave at Marsh Lake"

I wouldn't have had a clue where to begin

but in trying to paint an abstract tree I ended up with this

which also clearly demonstrates I know nothing about painting abstract trees in snow!

but I'm taking the gift 

and grateful for the lesson

show up, do something, see what happens

take care,

Jillayne

drifting along

the river continues to be the main focus of my creative journey as I drift from one facet of it to another in an ever-widening circle

this week it was the current...

it seems once I get something to the point where the "technician" in me can take over and work to execute the design idea the creative side immediately starts casting about for the next thing

you'd think I'd get in a jumble but it seems to work out rather well

over the years and through all the seasons I've taken endless photos of the river's surface though the vast majority were taken in either November or December... the  obsidian-coloured water, the low-light gleam of the oily-looking surface, the reflections of the trees on the opposite shore hold the strongest appeal for me...

they seem to highlight the current markings on the surface in the most captivating way

so... more samples then

textile samples, the markings need to be stitched... I'm already seeing large pieces of richly textured cloth, the current patterns drifting across them from edge to edge... sigh

it has to be on dark linen

do I have dark linen? or do I need to do more ink-dyeing?

I think have two that might work; one, half an old linen dress bought many years ago from a charity shop in the UK - the other, an old camisole of my own

where are they now, since the big tidy up of Spring?

(I strongly recommend seriously reconsidering any big reorganizations in your creative space before starting!)

a half hour later they had both been located, the cami too purplish, the dress just right

 cutting up the half dress there were several small curved pieces - should I trim them straight?

no - leave them as they are... I know I'll be grateful for the little bit extra in the margins if I find I need a hoop

the curves add a bit of the river too I think, as I pressed them flat

a search through my river photo file yielded a few that looked promising

the swirling circles have always fascinated me... their motion is mesmerizing 

I shake my head at the memory

tiny ripples too

also, always in motion

a few simple pencil sketches, more for muscle memory than to work from

what threads then?

metallic threads for sure, but first cotton

sewing thread or embroidery?

sewing - it's finer

it might look too defined though?

start with it - you can change it if it doesn't look right

what about metallics?

after, to highlight

a beginning then

a few stitches later I remembered a piece I had done in one of Karen Ruane's courses

where would that be? 

must be in the sample box... - at least it was the last time I'd seen it

needle down,  sample box lifted off the shelf, one after another I searched through the pile of sample after sample of techniques I had learned from her over the years

as I looked, several were laid aside... not what I was looking for but they were sparking ideas for other work I am also in the midst of

and there it was

not quite right but it shows the way...

there was Payne's Grey ink in a jar on the worktable

brushed over the surface, this way and that the surface went from white to blue-grey

free-machine embroidery on silk cloth with paper

the swirling whirl of the stitching would be perfect, it just needs to be sparsely done, spread out, more in a meander 

drifting and swirling, slowly over the whole of the cloth

hand-stitching added later to add subtle detail and a metallic gleam here and there

and so, another plan has formed...

take care,

Jillayne

rooted in place

"rooted in place"...

an appropriate title for this post though it could equally have been called 

"from here to there and back again"

the comings and goings of the last four weeks have been some of the most pleasant days I have spent in a very long time... uplifting visits with family and friends, a few days away in a favourite city, a lovely drive to the mountains

even sketching one whilst standing in almost-the-middle of the road with a dear friend and partner in crime

now it's back to quiet, and my consolation is time back in the studio

this week I have painted, pasted, stitched, cut, drawn and written my way through a number of delightful forays into creative work

one such adventure was an itch that has been on the list for many months which is now well under way

making textile versions of the pilings along the Yukon River

this week I scratched that itch

layers of cloth coloured with earth pigments

I'm working on four different pilings, the one shown in this post is the smallest, clocking in at just over 5" tall

next up is to add a few straight stitches here and there

I found some of my fabric painted to look like water and laid it behind to get a sense of what that might look like

my favourite was recently done, seen in the first photo of this post and the last: a piece of linen coloured by letting a blue-black ink seep up as far as it would

as with much of what I've done over the last year I'm not quite sure exactly where this is going but I do know it's an important piece of the puzzle and having a few to work with allows me some latitude for experimentation

and as if four wasn't enough there's another idea brewing for pilings of a different nature

thankfully I have another week of studio time before staring down the fence yet again!

Take care,

Jillayne

see feelingly

on the yoga mat this morning, moving into mountain pose...

the idea was to bring your feet together without looking down and the instructor used a phrase that normally passes me by but today something about it made me pause mid-pose

"see feelingly"

this morning the words triggered a memory...

walking by the small lake downtown, early March a few years ago

it was a day or two after a massive wind-storm,  and the weather had put the shore ice into a relentless freeze-thaw cycle 

I noticed tree branches all along the shore, some partially caught in that ice, others fully frozen in place, frost encasing their branches

I was utterly transfixed

what I saw that day inspired all of my creative work for at least the next six months and in many ways it still does today

I realized this morning whilst on the yoga mat I hadn't just been inspired by the visuals alone

I saw those branches, frozen in place, feelingly

the icy grip, the inability to move... to go from waving in the wind to completely immobile

to be entangled

from there my thoughts skittered to a small framed print hanging on the wall in our family room

I stumbled on it in a small antique store over 20 years ago and knew immediately it was going to follow me home

 I've always liked the imagery of boats at full sail... the feeling of heaviness in the drape of the sails, the rough texture of the cloth and that sky, the feeling of being uplifted in clouds

 a feeling of buoyancy 

"In Holland Waters"

by Paul Jean Clays

I hadn't just seen these things, I had felt what I was seeing as well

I love when these sort of connections are made, an understanding that hits me, makes the pieces all fit together in a way I hadn't understood before

I'm not sure I can "see feelingly" at will but I believe now, having made this connection, I'll recognize it when it comes

and allow that to guide what I do next

we'll see

take care,

Jillayne

distractions

a long-overdue tidy up of my worktable last week was on my very long list of things to do

as I surveyed the clutter I thought if I had to clear it all away I might just as well shift the table to face out the larger window and since I was going to do that I might just as well clean the windows and vacuum the curtains whilst I was at it

emptying the bottom shelf to facilitate the move meant reorganizing all of that might as well be a part of the game plan

and so it went on a dull Tuesday morning

a 30 minute job turned into three hours but at the end of it I had to admit it was worth all the effort

you might think that's because everything is nice and neat and once again I am not just reacquainted with many of my art supplies, I also know where they are!

truthfully though, it's not that nice and neat because of my having taken a closer look at a piece of scrap paper I used a couple of weeks ago when I was painting 

 I was so taken with the random brush strokes, blending of pale colours and interesting creases that it took me a minute to recognize it as a paper "drop sheet" 

next to it were a few scraps of a failed photo transfer from a very long time ago... the photo had been one of the clay cliffs and as the transfer didn't work properly I cut the linen into random pieces - one reminded me of a birch tree so I laid it on top of the painted piece

a tree beside the frozen river

another fragment of the same paper was where I had tested a few colours before painting the papers

more ideas for the pilings...

so not a bad morning then

a tidy up and a few more ideas generated

well, not a complete tidy up... these are still sitting on the worktable

I can't seem to bring myself to put them in the sketchbook yet - I want to look at them every time I go into the studio and think about how to develop them further

what paper to work on?

watercolour or acrylic?

charcoal?

supplies are slowly gathering and it seems yet another tidy up is in the offing...

one thing leads to another

three weeks on I have finally finished my sideways branch sample

never part of my plan but the suggestion was a good one and the idea took hold

I'm so glad it did 

the ragged jagged nature of these branches pleases me greatly; stitched in a different colour they could be seen as cracks in ice

I'm drawn to anything with that kind of ambiguity... a thing that could be this or that or with a nudge go off in a completely different direction

another suggestion was to stitch curving lines in silver behind the branches to represent ripples on the surface of the river

I took a piece of silver thread and dropped it on top of the branches, intending to play around with it to see what I might do - instead, I immediately say a way of stitching the swirling current on the river's surface

and as I turned the paper to get a better look at that I noticed how effective the stitched branches were in a vertical orientation

this and that, around and about

the stuff of creativity that spins me round and round

one thing leading to another 

all of it tying together

the current of creativity flowing merrily along

where is it taking you?