see feelingly

on the yoga mat this morning, moving into mountain pose...

the idea was to bring your feet together without looking down and the instructor used a phrase that normally passes me by but today something about it made me pause mid-pose

"see feelingly"

this morning the words triggered a memory...

walking by the small lake downtown, early March a few years ago

it was a day or two after a massive wind-storm,  and the weather had put the shore ice into a relentless freeze-thaw cycle 

I noticed tree branches all along the shore, some partially caught in that ice, others fully frozen in place, frost encasing their branches

I was utterly transfixed

what I saw that day inspired all of my creative work for at least the next six months and in many ways it still does today

I realized this morning whilst on the yoga mat I hadn't just been inspired by the visuals alone

I saw those branches, frozen in place, feelingly

the icy grip, the inability to move... to go from waving in the wind to completely immobile

to be entangled

from there my thoughts skittered to a small framed print hanging on the wall in our family room

I stumbled on it in a small antique store over 20 years ago and knew immediately it was going to follow me home

 I've always liked the imagery of boats at full sail... the feeling of heaviness in the drape of the sails, the rough texture of the cloth and that sky, the feeling of being uplifted in clouds

 a feeling of buoyancy 

"In Holland Waters"

by Paul Jean Clays

I hadn't just seen these things, I had felt what I was seeing as well

I love when these sort of connections are made, an understanding that hits me, makes the pieces all fit together in a way I hadn't understood before

I'm not sure I can "see feelingly" at will but I believe now, having made this connection, I'll recognize it when it comes

and allow that to guide what I do next

we'll see

take care,

Jillayne