finding my way...

this week has been full of fits and starts

more than ever in my life I'm struggling with focus, trying to figure out what I want to do only to find out that whatever I thought that might be,  it wasn't after all

I have learned over time that when you don't know what to do, do something, anything, just start

once you start, the rest sorts itself out

the other day I wrote down every single creative thing I do

then I made a note beside each thing as to whether I did it because I really enjoyed it, exploring all the possibilities, or whether I did it as a means to an end

(for example, knitting is a means to an end thing with me - I only knit when I need a knitted thing, otherwise, I could care less about doing it)

after that I took the list of what I really enjoyed, and sorted it into three columns - what I did regularly, what I did somewhat often, and what I rarely did even though it interests me greatly

(weaving is one of the latter - I like it, find it interesting in many ways, but even with all of that I don't do it a lot)

working through all of that was fairly insightful, maybe more so from an organizational perspective than anything else (things I don't use often should be in the harder to get at places - which they aren't!)

the list I was left with, the what I really like to do all the time kind of stuff, was rather short

bookbinding, sketching, painting, stitching

so which to focus on?

I chose all of the above - with a deep dive into book-making on the side

exploring different structures, playing with cover materials, thinking about the papers for the inside

I also want to make some "themed" books using different subject matter - incorporating painting, sketching and stitching ideas into each

one thing I want to do is make some books with painted covers so I began there, starting lightly and easily, using some of the inks I made recently

learning about wet-in-wet 

indigo, carbon black and walnut ink

dribbled and splattered, it was looking pretty interesting and then - into a piece of folded parchment paper for pressing under weight -  the parchment paper wrinkled and made these vertical marks - talk about a happy accident

in some places this looks like a surreal landscape, high ridges, stormy skies

I'm also working on a small book about McGuire Lake here in Salmon Arm

cutting up tiny, fragmented photographs taken there the summer of 2020

I've been trying to spend some time there this summer, walking, looking, sitting

these are some wildflowers I picked last summer

the plan is to sketch and paint these, try some printing... playing

the beginning of a pieced book cover - embroidery comes next

think of plants, silhouettes maybe

in rummaging through an old sketchbook, I found these from last year - I love messy floral paintings so this will be where I start with those

so a few things to try and see how I go

the studio is a mess

piles of paper and books everywhere 

scraps of paper with ideas and lists of things to try

a plan coming together

and a big smile on my face whenever I set foot in there!