betwixt and between alright
summer is ending and fall is not quite ready to appear... the days are still very hot but the nights are cool and darkness comes earlier with each passing day
i am reluctant to begin anything new, yet finishing old projects has been a lesson is tedium
i've cleared out most of the summer clothes from the closet and dresser, yet it's still too early to start packing
i content myself with thinking about what i will take...
and in the midst of these last busy, busy days, where my mind is skittering from thoughts of the present to the past and back to the future
i decided it was time to try meditation
i've always been a thinker
getting lost in thoughts - accused of daydreaming constantly, from the time i was chil, but never anything formal
i'll say this - it's been interesting...
i hadn't any specific expectations for what i hoped meditating might do for me, other than perhaps a clearer, less cluttered mind
i'm not sure if that's happened yet, except that perhaps i am somewhat more aware of my thoughts
but what did happen, in that first week really surprised me...
you know how when you get a facial the esthetician will tell you your face might be a little sensitive for a few days, might even break out a bit?
from all the impurities and excess oil being purged from your skin?
well, i think meditating might be making all my evil thoughts come to the surface, threatening to spill out of my mouth at the first opportunity...
in the first few days, i found myself a bit, well, a bit snappish
annoyed with people
and needing a superhuman amount of will power not to say everything i was thinking as soon as the thought flashed
(there might have been a few slip-ups... yeesh)
i started out full of good thoughts, high ideals and a generous will
but if those around didn't seem to be displaying the same thoughtful considerations, look out!
i'm feeling a little more like my old self today... and decided it was high time i understand this whole business a little better
i scoured the internet, reading a few articles here and there but today i decided i needed a good old-fashioned book
it had me with the prettiness of the cover... i'll let you know about the text!
on another note, another betwixt and between at this time of year is my herb garden
some are just coming into flower, others are just past their prime
what has delighted me more than anything else this year is the love affair the bees are having with the marjoram
at any given moment there is between 15 and 30 buzzing busily about
honey bees and bumble bees - they love the marjoram even better than the lavender
and with all you hear about the struggle the bees are having, it is so gratifying to know that my little clump of marjoram is of real benefit
a good deed indeed...